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The Legendary Beer Off

by Jake Jacobs
10 August 2010

Jake Jacobs

This is a history.

It isn't the sort of history you remember from your school days, which read something like this:

Blah blah 1066 ho hum Runnymede yada yada Agincourt witzel blitzel 1483 ...

The backgammon equivalent for that is:

Blah blah 1964 ho hum Las Vegas yada yada Walter Cooke witzel blitzel 1992 ...

Nor is it history with an agenda:

Colonies that planted peanuts ... Tariffs increased by ... Neighboring states ... Overthrown by ...

In backgammon that would be:

Adjusted pip count ... When trailing by ... Doubling window opens at ... Gammoned ...

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Subject: Re: The Legendary Beer Off

From: tobaksa Member has a photo available

Date: 11 Aug 2010 07:02 EST

Since writing this the Beer Wars have escalated. A Dutch brewery, 't Keoschip, created Oblix. With a 45% alcohol content switching to proof is better: it is a 90-proof beer.

BrewDog retaliated by offering The End Of History, 110-proof, and packed in a dead animal. You read that right; the twelve limited edition bottles were stuffed into road kill that had been worked on by a taxidermist in Doncaster. The bottles sold for 500 pounds, and so everyone was outraged: alcohol treatment centers, animal rights groups, and consumers.

Not to be outdone, the Dutch are offering Start the Future, which is 120-proof, or 50% stronger than most whiskey. I found a web site in a language I guessed, clever fellow that I am, was Dutch. I called the telephone number: "Do you speak English?' "Yah, a bit." It turned out to be the brewmaster, Jan Nijboer himslef. A couple of bottles of Start the Future are Singapore bound.

For research purposes, of course.

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